The Nikkah syndrome: A must read for all (Single, Searching or Married)

NIKKAH SYNDROME
By
Oredola A'ishah
(Mussaite)
Bismillah Rahmani Raheem
Asalam alaykum waramohtullah wa barakatu

NIKKAH:
This is the favourite topic of most brothers and sisters in islam,I'm not an exception , I mean ,who doesn't want companionship , love, attention,tranquility . Who doesn't want to find his /her"other half" , habibi , habibti , sweetie , boo ,azeezatiey or anyhow you'd love to address yourzawj . Okay , most sisters want a tall , good looking ,upright muslim man , sunnatic? Yes! , oh! He musthave neat beards , a good job , his Quran recitation must be excellenté , his voice must captivate me,his smile, shouldn't be less than fantabulous , he should cook for me too , take good care of me , our marriage would be more interesting than the nikkah itself , we would have three to four cute children bla bla bla......

Its good to dream , its healthy and gives you an optimistic mind but Ukhti ! Have you for once thought of being the "Mrs Right" too? Have you Sat down to analyze your flaws , your weakness , do you even want to improve yourself Islamically,spiritually,intellectually, morally , physically ?
Ya Ukhti , have you memorized the whole Quran? Is your solat better than it was yesterday? Your tahajjud? Is your fajr in check? Hmmmm. Do you speak Arabic fluently ? Do you cook well? Are you lazy with house chores ? How about your anger issues? Have you thought of that too? How do you act when you're angry? Do you destroy home appliances,furniture,
glasswares , or do you burn something....anything? Lol.

How about your parents , do you take good care ofthem , spend time with them , respect and honour them , pray for them , assist them ...your mother? Remember that paradise lies at the feet of your mother . Your siblings? Do you teach them what you know in Islam ,spend time with them,show them love ,buy them gifts ? Cook for them? Or does this occur
       Sibling: Oh sis I need help with my homework
       Sis: Subhanallah! I'm busy! Please! I have my own
       homework too! What were u doing when the
        teacher was teaching!
La! La Ukhti La🙅Its wrong .If you can't be a good person ,a good sister , a good daughter or neighbour. How would you be a good wife ?? Oh do you think it's a natural thing that happens immediately after nikkah?

Do you think that it's after nikkah that those good characters will start reflecting on you?
It starts now . Worry about the present , build yourself , pray to Allah to improve you , acquire knowledge , lots and lots of knowledge ... I know procrastination can be luring but try hard to manoeuvre , you can even ask Allah for strength to overcome your fears , laziness , dullness and procrastination . In Sha Allah it'll end up well .
Allah will send your "habibi" to you .

Now to our brothers!!! ☺😄
Ya Akhi Ya Akhi Ya Akhi
Sunnah is good ooo As in , you want 4wives yeah?
One should be light skinned👰
🏻
The other dark skinned 👰
🏿
The third caramel skinned 👰
🏽
The fourth , white 👰
This life is good Alhamdulilah You want a good looking wife , that can cook , that has memorized the whole Quran , she must be this or that , her manners? Splendid , her modesty? Unbeatable . her voice? Thrilling . She should pray tahajjud all night , tidy up the
house , take care of the children , take care of you. Her character must be perfect , no flaws .... Flawless habibti shey ??? 😎 Ma Sha Allah

Please start with yourself , do you know how to do all what you expect your future zawj to be perfect at ? Do you deserve her? Your dreams are big bro ...enormous! Gigantic! So should your aims , aspirations and goals be .
Make yourself the most wanted akhi due to his Islamic values ✅ Morals✅ Intellectual acuity✅Spiritual connectivity ✅Just stick to Allah Azzawajal and he will give you the best
I know it's not easy to lower your gaze nowadays 😌 Because there are so many obstacles in ur path And even when u run 🏃🏽 Akhi these obstacles will run after u! Infact these hurdles will be in front of u !!💃🏽🏃

Run Akhi from fitnah... Run 💃🏽💃💃
🚣 But for Allah's sake if your legs fail , use a horse , a car , an airplane , a ship!
🚵🏽
🏇🏽
Anything! Always beseech Allah for assistance .Patience is very rewarding , when the time is right... Ar Rahman will bless you with the best and I can not wait to eat nikkah rice In Sha Allah 😋😋😋😋

Allah loves a chaste man or woman, Verses from Al Quran :
           Who abstain from sex, (Surah Al-Muminun, 5 )
           Except with those joined to them in the marriage
            bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess,- for
           (in their case) they are free from blame,  (Surah AL-Muminun, 6)

        Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze
        and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for
        them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. (Surah An-Nur, 30 )

      And Mary the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into (her             body) of Our spirit; and she testified to the truth of the words of her Lord and of His
      Revelations, and was one of the devout (servants). (Surah At-Tahrim, 12 )

Lastly ....  Q24:26
         Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for  good             men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For             them is pardon and a bountiful provision. Keep praying,  Keep fasting, May Allah keepus         firm Ameen.

ABARI™: Meet the Nigerian who makes Bamboo Sunglasses!!!

Glancing through my time line on Instagram, on the search for new friends, amazing and amusing posts,my eyes caught the sight of something "Amazing", something unique and worthy to share with you peeps.

Guess what!!!  These sunshades/sunglasses  here are made from "Bamboo" I repeat "Bamboo" 😱, when I first saw it, I gave a skeptical face like "Bamboo biti bawo" 😒. Well, I wouldn't just let go off the gist like that now, I became curious as to getting full details of these unique and intellectual work of art, my curiosity pushed me to searching for the "Brain" behind this, and Alas!!! 💃💃I got him, my dear darlings meet Abari Abdul-Hamid Oluwadamilola

Here is a young Nigerian -"Dammy", as he is fondly called, is a promising young entrepreneur also an engineer who is currently in the UK, pursuing Masters education. In addition to that, he produces and sells SUN-GLASSES MADE FROM BAMBOO.

He says more about himself:

“My name is Abari Abdulhamid Damilola, i was born on the 6th of March 1989 and i’m from Lagos State, Nigeria.

"I’m a graduate of Igbinedion University Okada with a major in Mechanical Engineering, Presently undergoing my Master’s degree in the University of Sheffield U.K in Process Safety and Loss Prevention."

Aspiration: Hope to build a factory for making bamboo products in Nigeria which I am already working on with my present manufacturer.

PROUDLY, ABARI SUN-GLASSES

Product Information

Models: There are two models now Coffee Brown and Creamie

COFFEE BROWN MODEL

Coffee model bamboo sunglasses are eco-friendly, water resistant, they float on water. Non-slippery when sweating and more reliable than the plastic frames. They come in a Wayfarer style shape and suits most face notwithstanding the size of face

CREAMIE MODEL

The Creamie model are made from ecological bamboo which is the original colour of the bamboo. This sunglasses are eco-friendly, water resistant, that float on water and Non-slippery when sweating unlike the plastic frame glasses. They come with Wayfarer style, TAC polarized lenses providing full sun protection for your eyes from UV rays and strengthened flex-steel hinges.

ACCESSORIES

Each pair comes in a hard bamboo box with a silk lens cloth, silk bag and a little gift.

LENSES

The Lenses are TAC (Tri Acetate Cellulose) polarized lenses which offer superior visual and polarization clarity. They are hard coated to resist scratching and block out 100% of all harmful UV rays up to 400 nanometers, and are also lightweight and highly impact resistant.

LENS COLOURS

Available in Blue and Green, other colours are coming out soon.

Wouldn't you rather buy #naijatogrownaira?  Trust me "obe to dun owo lo pa"

For more information/details, follow
On IG: @abaritm
Email: abaritm@yahoo.com
Twitter: @abaritm

Excerpts from: @mofolusades.blogspot.com

ROMANCE IN ISLAM: Treating Your Spouse the Best Way

Salam Aleykum waramotullah wabarakathu  dear viewers, it's been long since I dropped something here, I apologize for my negligence, been facing some technical issues of recent but hoping to get better soon In Sha Allah, please accept my sincere apologies.....  Today, I will love to share with you this lovely piece I found online while surfing the Internet, I hope and pray you make the best of it Maa Sha Allah, Jazakallahu khayran as you read and share.

ROMANCE IN ISLAM

Muslim Men are not romantic? Says who? First, let's Look at the story of Abdullahi Ibn Abubakar and Atikah bint Zaid, Atikah was so beautiful, one of the most beautiful female companions, they were so in love, that they were mad about each other, if they could swallow each other they would have done that. Abdulllahi was crazy about her, to the extent that he started missing Salat and Jihad, until Abubakar Siddiq (RA) commanded Abdullahi to divorce her, Abdullahi became depressed that he started singing love poems about Atikah up and down at home. This was what made Abubakar to re-consider the issue and eventually Abdullahi and Atikah were

back together again, and Abdullahi even made Atikah to promise him that she won't marry any  other man after his death. The Prophet (SAW) said, a woman will be with her final husband in Jannah (Tirmidhi).

Abu Darda and Umm Darda were also another lovebirds, to the extent that when Abu Darda died, Umm Darda refused to get married again cos she thought no other man can replace Abu Darda. When Muawiyah proposed to her, she declined and

said, am already engaged to Abu Darda in paradise. How sweet! That's eternal love.

Marriage can be made beautiful or terrible, it all depends on the spouses. When Umm Silah, the wife of Ahmad Ibn Hanbal died, he wept and said, I have lived with this

woman for the past 30 years and we never quarrelled for once. People asked him, how is that possible? He said, whenever I am getting angry she keeps quiet and whenever she is getting angry I keep quiet, so we never had mutual argument. How romantic.... How many couples today can spend a week without argument?

Brothers learn to be romantic and sweet, some brothers are even shy of expressing their love for their wives, if you don't tell her your feelings, who will?? Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said, women love to be told clearly that they are loved, it strengthens the feelings and affection, if you refuse to express your feelings for her, it will create a barrier of harshness between you and her. Most couples today are only romantic for the first few years of marriage, after that, its assumed that it’s childish to keep saying (I love you). What's childish about it? Wallahi those 3 words are the basis and foundation of marriage.

Brothers, be romantic: sometimes u should eat from the same plate and feed your wives, sometimes put meat In between your teeth and put it in ur wives mouth by way of kissing thereby mutually sharing the meat. At times involve in pillow fights with your wives, throw pillows at her. when she is angry, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is, tell her "you look more beautiful when you are angry", if she is still angry, then move back and throw chocolates at her, spray perfume on her or pour water on her, all these are part of being romantic. 

Also, learn how to carry your wife in your arms around the house, at times carry the baby on your back too. At times play simple games together, throw balls at each other, have a mini gymnasium in your house where you train your wife, carry her and let her carry you if she has the strength, but don't allow her to knack you down!!! Watch Islamic stations together with her, eat pop-corn together, sleep on the same room and on the same bed, don't have your own separate room, some men now have their own room where they run to, after quarrelling with their wife, who are you leaving her for? Even if a man practices polygyny, he can't have his own room, he has to be rationing rooms from one wife to the other. That's justice!!!!!

Furthermore, be your wife's best pal, go on a stroll with your wife, chit- chat with her, go to places of amusement or admiration of nature if the places are free from half naked zombies.....

Don't only buy gifts for your wife when she is sick in the hospital, buy for her often. The best gift is the one that comes from the bottom of your heart not the store. Shop for things for her, there is nothing wrong with you going to the market with your beards and say "I want to buy female underwear" its just a Gift of love. 

May Almighty Allah s.w.t  Bless all our Spouses and may HE continue to strengthen the bond between us  Aamin......  Jazakallahu khayran for Reading

Read and Reflect: Teachings from the best of all teachers!!!

The Holy Prophet ﷺ Said:  

1) Four things that make your body sick:
a) Excessive talking
b) Excessive sleeping
c) Excessive eating and
d) Excessive meeting other people

2) Four things that destroy the body:
a) Worrying
b) Sorrow (Sadness/Grief)
c) Hunger
d) Sleeping late in the night

3) Four things that take away the nur & happiness from your face:
a) Lying
b) Being disrespectful / impudent (insisting on something wrong knowingly)
c) Arguing without adequate knowledge & Information.
d) Excessive immorality (doing something wrong without fear).

4) Four things that increase the nur of face & its happiness:
a) Piety
b) Loyalty
c) Generosity (being kind)
d) To be helpful to others without he/she asking for that.

5) Four things that stop the Rizq (Sustenance) :
a) Sleeping in the morning (from Fajr to sunrise) b) Not Performing Namaz or Ir-regular in Prayers
c) Laziness / Idleness
d) Treachery / Dishonesty

6) Four things that bring / increase the Rizq:
a) Staying up in the night for prayers.
b) Excessive Repentance
c) Regular Charity
d) Zikr (Remembrance of Allah / God).

The Holy Prophet ﷺ Also said to communicate to others even if it's just one Verse (Ayaah) & this one verse will stand on the Day of Judgment for intercession.....  Barkah jumaah to y'all

P:S= don't forget to read SURATUL KHAF, May Almighty Allah s.w.t reward us all abundantly (Ameen)

DEAR SON: A MOTHER'S ADVICE TO HER SON BEFORE HIS WEDDING!

WHAT A MOTHER TOLD HER SON A DAY BEFORE HIS WEDDING

Mummy’s boy, you are now a man. Tomorrow you will have a new mother, a new cook and a new person to share all your secrets with. It will no longer be me but her. Love your new mum even more than you love me. Before you walk into her arms forever, let me give you some words to guide you.There was a day I was arguing with your father. We were screaming. Tempers were high. I was angry and He was angry. Then I called him an idiot! He was shocked. He looked at me asking how dare I call him that. I immediately started calling him idiot, fool, stupid, crazy. I called him all sort of name. Guess what he did? He didn’t raise his hands to hit me. He just walked away, banging the door as he went out.My Son, If your father had hit me and destroyed my eyes, how will you feel sitting here with me today? How will you regard him as your father? Would you have been proud of him or would you be blaming me for calling him names? Never hit your wife! No matter the provocation just walk away and things will be normal. Whenever she offends you, think of this story I just told you, it could have been your mum!Before I forget, after he left, I was filled with guilt. We slept on same bed that night and I went to him the next day. I pleaded with him, I did all I could to show am sorry and he forgave me. That day I cooked his favourite food, yes you know he loves Affang soup right? After that day, I never called him names, my respect for him was ten times stronger.

There is something very important you must always do, my son listen very carefully, defend your wife. When she is under pressure, stand by her. If your friends hates her, it is your duty to make them see her as a Queen. Your Uncle, I mean Uncle Udeme never liked me. But your father was always supportive until his perception changed.There was a day your Father was going to host the owner of his company and friends. They were three of them. That day I was in the kitchen cooking for them and your father went to buy drinks. When the table was set and food was served. Everyone started eating. Then I remembered I did not add salt in the food. I was embarrassed. Your father tasted the food and looked at me. He immediately turned to the guests. He told them that he instructed his wife last month not to add salt whenever she is cooking because of some problem with his body. He said it in a funny way and everyone laughed! The guests understood and he asked me to bring salt and everyone added according to their taste. He managed to eat the food without salt. After the guest left, he went on his knees and asked God to forgive him for lying.Your wife is like a baby, sometimes she don’t know what to say or do. Stand up and speak for her!

Now let me talk to you about sex. You see sex is a wonderful thing. Do not be surprised if your wife enjoy and need sex more than you do. There were days, I needed sex more than your father and there were days he needed it more than me but the important thing is to always try to satisfy the other when they need you. Don’t always think of your self.There was a time things were hard and I needed to do two jobs to support your father. One night I was so tired. When I got to bed he was in the mood. He try to make love to me and I didn’t refuse him. I was tired but I felt I needed to be there when he need me. When he tried undressing me, he saw my look and he stopped. He asked what was wrong and I said nothing. But he understand me better. He stopped and then started telling me stories until I fell asleep.My son, Sex is best enjoyed when the two parties are physically and mentally ready for it. Sometimes, read your wife and understand her.Make it a habit to go anywhere with your wife.


Beside your job, move around with her. If anyone invite you to his house and told you not to come with your wife then be very careful. Use wisdom.I know you love mummy… I know you tell me all your problems. But now things will be different.Let your wife be the first to know before me. Let her be the first to see before me.When you have problems with her don’t run to me immediately. Wait for a day to pass and then talk to her about it. Pray about it. Report her to nobody but talk issues out within yourself.Finally, don’t forget to come and visit me with your wife every month!I know you will have a happy home. You will always be mummy’s boy. God will bless ur home. Pls don't forget God, pray & seek His assistance always.

POEM: I GOT FLOWERS TODAY!

I Got Flowers Today..... I got flowers today... It wasn't my birthday or any other special day. 

We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said...because  he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today... It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry, Because  he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today... It wasn't mother's day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry, Because  he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today... Lots of them...Today was very special. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today......... Real man don't hit... Run From Domestic Violence!! 

FIVE FEARS OF A MUMIN: A must Read!!!

A Believer has 5 types of fear.

1. Fear that Allah may take his faith away from him

Many of us live our lives in such comfort that we are not concerned about losing our Iman. We think just because we are Muslim at this moment in time, we will stay like that, yet we forget the smallest action can nullify our Iman. To the extent, many of the Ulama a mentioned that a single thought which is Kufr can make one leave the fold of Islam.

2. Fear that the recording angels may write down something that may expose him on the Day of Resurrection

Some of us are so careful when committing evil deeds to make sure that our friends and family do not see us, but how foolish are we to think that the record keeping angels are not monitoring our every action and thought. Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala says,

‘So, by your Lord (O Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), We shall certainly call all of them to account. For all that they used to do.’ [Quran 15:92-93]

3. Fear that the Shaytan may cause his deeds to become invalid

The true believer should always be on guard, to purify his speech and actions from the misguidance of Shaytan. We should remember that it is very easy to nullify our deeds by a simple intention and thus we must constantly make sure that all of our deeds are done with sincerity and with following the method (Sunnah) of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam).

4. Fear that the Angel of Death may come to him without warning

When this unexpected guest arrives knocking at your door, you cannot turn him away, nor can you ask him to return at a later time, but rather the time is fixed and appointed. We must ensure that we are always doing the good deeds, so that maybe our last deed before we leave this dunya is in obedience to Him. Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala says,

Say: ‘The angel of death, who is set over you, will take your souls, then you shall be brought to your Lord.’ [Quran 32:11]

5. Fear that this world may tempt him and distract him from the Hereafter

One of our biggest temptations in this dunya. We become so busy in chasing this dunya, the cars, the money, the fame, the houses the businesses etc, but yet we forget that the one who chases the dunya never gets the akhirah, but the one who chases the akhirah will get the akhirah and the dunya.

May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala allow us to fear Him the way He deserves to be feared. Aameen...!

[These 5 points were mentioned by Uthman Ibn Affan (radiallahu anhu): Fara’id al-Kalam lil-Khulafa al-Kiram, page 278]